Maybe you need to learn how to be more compassionate to others, or perhaps you struggle internally and need to show more compassion to yourself. For me I let three words guide who I want and try to be. They are love, light, and peace. Does this mean I am always living this way? No. No one is perfect, but I always try to bring myself back to these ideals and values I have set for myself. Now that you know what a higher self is, it's time to get started on finding it and becoming it. 

I decided a while ago that my purpose was to help educate others towards finding their higher selves and reaching enlightened. You really have to dig deep and notice your strengths. Although most of us, while doing this activity will notice our weaknesses first. Just keep moving forward and try to stay positive. The Japanese have a word for purpose and it is called ikagai. This is going to be part of the methodology we use in finding our purpose. First list a few things you are passionate about. As well as what you are good at. Now try to think of how you could make a living doing this or at least how you could spend more of your time doing it. Now think about how you could help others while living your new found dream. Break it down into a few single words that you want to be the embodiment of your new attitude towards life. Like I said mine are love, light, and peace. Now hold onto those words. You'll figure out how to use them later.

I know what you're thinking. I already have a self care routine. I've got this step covered. However, in most cases you would be wrong to skip this step. I mean taking care of all aspects of your life. You need physical, emotional, social, and spiritual self care on a regular basis. So I'll give you an idea of what each one should look like.

Physical: Sleeping regularly, Eating healthier, Exercising, Skin care routine, and staying hydrated. Now I know how hard that might seem for someone who has a busy schedule, but it can all start with a few small habits each week. Also I recommend getting a planner or using Google calendar (It's Free). Start giving yourself a bed time. Keep in mind when your day starts, you need 8-10 hours of sleep. Make sure you get to bed about 30 minutes prior to your bedtime. This will ensure you're asleep around the time you've set. Wake up around the same time each day. Now eating healthy can be so difficult. Between the cost and the cravings you might be tempted to just steer clear of this part, but it's so important. I'm not saying you need to diet every day of the week. Just start making healthier choices. Use low fat or fat free dairy products. Go for the whole grain crackers instead of the original ones. Make it into a goal. Each week add one new healthy food to your shopping list. Exercising can be stressful to think about, let alone implement. However, it is extremely beneficial and doesn't have to be a chore. Go for a nature walk, workout while watching TV, or dance to your favorite music. Personal hygiene is a basic ADL (Activity of Daily Living) and is necessary for someone to be both physically and mentally healthy. Skin care is a simple way to add onto the fresh clean feeling of hygienic self care. Start simple and just use a cleanser and moisturizer, maybe some beard care for the fellas reading this. Also if you like going all out with your skin care then live it up. Staying hydrated is so good for you and so few people are keeping up with it. Seventy five percent of people are dehydrated. That's a lot. If you're like me and you hate water it's even harder. I recommend getting some mio, low or zero calorie water enhancement packets, or a cirkul bottle. Ditch the sweet drinks and go all in on that flavored water. Now that wraps it up for physical self care. 

Emotional: Daily Gratitude, Journaling, self compassion, therapy, practice forgiveness, and become an optimist. Journaling can be fun and is a good coping skill. I recommend journaling every day and at the end of each entry listing three things you're grateful for. They can be as minimal as possible, but if it made your day a little better then list it. When you are beating yourself up in your head about the past or a circumstance you cannot change, use self compassion instead. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made. Let go of all your wrong doings and just remember the lessons you've learned. Therapy can be expensive and uncomfortable. Yet, it is a wonderful way to learn new skill oks and tackle life with less challenges. So for this I recommend going online and ordering a few mental health workbooks or using a telehealth therapy service like better help. Now lastly in this section we have optimis. To be more optimistic just use gratitude again only this time every time you feel pessimistic about something, list something you are grateful for and keep practicing this all day. That ends our emotional self care.

Social: spend time with family and friends, go to local town events and meet new people, have a cookout or barbecue at your house. 

Make time for the people in your life and make it a point for that time to be spent without technology and other distractions. Totally immerse yourself in your experience with your loved ones. If you have few people in your life then get involved. Do some volunteer work for your community. Go to an event in town or a local town meeting. Just be as social as possible within the constructs of what is healthy for you. Finally we move to spiritual self care. 

Spiritual: Meditation, letters to your higher self, connection with a higher power of any kind, if that's not for you just a connection with nature. Guided meditations are perfect for beginners and they can be found almost anywhere online. Write letters to your higher self with your doubts, insecurities, and questions. You could also simply ask yourself, What would that version of me do? Prayer seems like something we do only when we struggle, but I encourage you if you have one to build an ongoing relationship with your higher power and talk to them as much as possible. If not then you should use your higher self in place of it and constantly talk to yourself about the wins and losses in your life. Also you should try to connect with nature as it is living too. 

Meditation is the best way to clear yourself from the mess in your head and just be one with your energy. It seems hard at first, but you just have to stick with it. It's natural for your mind to wander, just keep bringing your attention back to center. Now there are several types of meditation, but here are a few I enjoy. Guided meditation, metta meditation, mantra meditation, and breathing meditation. Guided meditations are a great way to get started. Just remember that regardless of what kind you try, it is difficult at first. Metta meditation or loving kindness meditation is good for people who struggle with compassion. It's about feeling inner love and then spreading it outwards to the environment around you. Breathing meditation is the most simple of all. You simply focus on your breath and let everything else around you fade into the background. Now mantra meditation is my favorite and I feel is the most useful. Remember those words from step 1. Go ahead and repeat these softly in your mind. Anywhere you go just remember these words. Come up with a phrase that incorporates them. Such as I live a life of love, light, and peace. Or my personal favorite. To have peace you must create peace. Just repeat this phrase any time you feel a strong emotion form inside you. This brings us to mindfulness. Mindfulness is being fully aware within the present moment. Not thinking about the past or the future, just living wherever you are right now and most importantly doing so without judgment. Remember we cannot change the past and we only have today. The future is not promised to anyone. So try to be as involved in your life as possible.

Start by making a list of things you did wrong to yourself. Then a list of things others have done to you. Lastly, make a list of things you've done that have caused others to suffer. Go ahead and forgive yourself for your mistakes. Each and every time they pop into your head say "I forgive you." Next work towards setting boundaries and forgiving others. Don't allow them to simply start over, but respectfully create a wall between you. Then tell them you forgive them, still never forget. Anytime you think of them, remind yourself to let it go. "This is over now". After that try to make amends for your wrong doings. Don't get defensive or make up excuses. Say what you have done and allow the other person a safe space to share. Do not violate their boundaries. If they don't want to be around you, mail them a letter or send an email or text. Just one. 

My favorite part is setting goals. A lot of people use smart goals to achieve results. I personally find them to be too intense. This is my method. You need to break down your goals into smaller, more achievable milestones. Always remember to celebrate each little win. So if you wanted to lose weight. You would track your calories. Starting in week one your goal would be to stay in the calories budget for three of the days and to exercise once per week. Then each week you would increase slowly. Don't get upset with yourself if you mess up. It's part of the process. It's a long journey and remember quitting won't make it happen any faster. Visualize your goals daily and use positive self talk to reach them. 

Now that you know what your goals are and have mapped out how to reach them, it's time to start doing what you set out to do. Hit the gym, start writing, practice drawing, enroll in school, ect. Remember that you are creating a new life for yourself. You're growing, changing, and becoming the you that you envisioned. Remember to keep going and always push for better. You want to fully transcend into your higher self. 

This is the part you probably weren't prepared for. Everything you just worked for has come to light and it's time to start over. Your higher self isn't just achieved once. It's something you redefine and endlessly work towards. It's okay to stop for a bit and celebrate your wins. But after you accomplish it once you start back up at step 1. So to all of you reading this I wish you good luck and hope to see you back here on my page. 

Sincerely, Raven PhoenixFeather